Doing new 'sticky' things
A case for getting out of our own way and the simple mindset tools to do it.
As adults, we slide into comfort zones more easily than we slide out of them. What we know or already do is safe or normal. It’s what we’ve always done or how we’ve always been. Why mess with the status quo when reaching outside of it has the potential for embarrassment, failure or inconvenience?
The reluctance to step into new sports or movements, ways of eating or even new communities can be split open if we allow ourselves to unpack and shift perspective on emotions and expectations. From here, we can more easily access powerful reframes for almost everything we want to achieve. The aim here is to become comfortable with the hard element of helpful new routines, rhythms or behaviours.
Here are my two beloved tips for leaning in when our instinct is to lean out:
Expect sticky or hard feelings to be a part of the process. We’re much more likely to try a new hard-but-helpful thing if we expect and then make peace with looking foolish or failing. I recently took up tennis, having never played as a child. Apprehension was high! I wanted to play for many reasons - exercise, being outside, learning a new skill, brain health, friend connection. I delayed beginning until I finally made peace with the idea that for a significant amount of time, months most likely, I would miss the ball more often than I hit it. Now that I’m out of my own way, the process has been fulfilling, humbling, embarrassing and connective. Both hard and fun!
Acknowledging and anticipating the sticky initial period of anything helps me to commit and embrace a beginner’s mindset more often than not. Being really quite terrible at something, yet flowing with the discomfort, teaches us that not only is it okay to be the opposite of polished, natural and accomplished, but essential to our long term growth.
Take inspiration from little people. Anyone who has spent some time around children will have witnessed how they constantly struggle with and rise to challenges. Their world involves experimenting and learning new things every minute of the day. From walking, talking and starting school to learning to read, making friends, trying new sports and making sense of new concepts. All the emotions are there for us to observe - fear, anxiety, delight, fascination, a sense of accomplishment, frustration, anger and pride. They fail often, and come back to the task (usually) the next hour, day or week, trying again, building their abilities. We may often find ourselves telling children the following: Be brave! Try new things! Go for it!
Let’s gently remember to extend these motivational invitations back toward ourselves.
With all of this, we are aiming for joy, ease and curiosity. These are my own personal baselines for health on a daily basis. Keep on establishing, practising and noticing and I’ll see you back here next week!
*Reminder that next week is the monthly ‘to eat’ newsletter, featuring vibrant foods, recipes or cooking techniques that I use at home with my family ❣️
Sophie’s Marketplace
A few bits and pieces I’m loving right now, maybe you will too.
Pa’lante floppy water bottle. Genius design, I wish I had found this before a recent hiking trip. Equal parts in love with the exuberant branding and the practicality of being able to squish the bottle down in a day pack once you’ve chugged the water. Also enjoyed the discovery of its gorgeous stockist, an independent, New Zealand hiking gear retailer, aptly named Coffee Outdoors.
Monastery Made Deep Red LED light mask. Dying to get my hands on this! The first at home LED mask to use deep red light therapy. Everything this skincare brand does is thoughtful and carefully researched. Apparently, the deeper red light saturates the skin cells more effectively and is the best way to experience professional grade light therapy at home. Mask gives solid Darth Vader vibes, too.
Great post Sophie, love the advice. Good luck with the tennis! 🥰